A British man who claims to have had sex with 1000 different cars over the past few decades has finally been bitten by the Love Bug and says he wants to settle down with a Volkswagen Beetle. Edward Smith has been taking auto-erotic activity to new heights for 48 years, inserting his dipstick into machines as varied as a Ford Ranger and an Opel GT. He blames his addiction to tail-pipe on an encounter with the first Corvette model, which came out before he was legally able to drive- from the driver's seat, that is. Speaking of his new German-made love, Smith says, "When I hold Vanilla in my arms there's a powerful energy that comes from her in response to that. If anything was to happen to her I would be more than heartbroken."
A government official in a small Iowa town is in trouble after taking his junk out of his trousers and waving it at the wife of a constituent during an argument. Jimmy Brown got into it with voter Eric Vangemert after both men had knocked back a few at a local bar called Joe's Hole. While Vangemert admitted to calling Brown a vulgar name, he says the councilman got physical - which prompted his wife to step in to defuse the situation, only to have Brown unleash his little legislator and say, "This is what a real man looks like." According to court documents Brown asked Spirit Lake Police Chief Gene Marquez if he was "exempt from the law because I'm a city council member" - a statement Brown now denies.
A Tennessee woman nearly died after her neighbor accidentally fired a bullet through the floor of his apartment and straight into her shoulder one floor below. David White told cops he was "just playing around" with his gun late Sunday night when the weapon discharged and blasted a shot into Heather Goutrement's bedroom, striking her in the shoulder and narrowly missing her one-year-old child. According to the police report, the woman suffered "significant damage" to her shoulder but was listed in stable condition at a local hospital. White was charged with reckless endangerment and drug possession.