September 19, 2014
4:33 pm
Listener Club

Stupid News for 10/25/13

       The owners of a Florida mall have a bone to pick with a man who prompted an evacuation by wandering around the premises while pouring out a suspicious white powder which turned out to be the ashes of his late fiancee. The man walked around the mall for more than an hour, sprinkling small amounts of the deceased woman's remains in places that were special to the couple. He saved the bulk of the ashes for a stop at the shopping center's LensCrafters location, giving customers an eyeful by leaving a hefty pile there. No criminal charges were filed, although the Sarasota Fire Department may try to recover civil damages from the man.

      Customs officials at a Russian airport left a woman feeling bird brained after they busted her for having thousands of dollars worth of jewelry hidden inside a baked chicken. Customs agents at Moscow's Sheremetyevo International Airport searched the suitcases of a woman who had flown in from New York and found jewelry hidden in a number of food items including baked chicken, eggplant rolls and jars of jam, coffee and cream. The woman said she had hidden the roughly $30,000 worth of jewelry so she wouldn't have to declare the items.

      A bird-brained Connecticut man got tossed into a cage last week after he went crackers and assaulted a cop with a deadly ... parrot! The officer was responding to a report of a street fight when he spotted Luis Santana trying to sneak away from the scene with the bird in tow. In an effort to get away, Santana hurled the parrot at the deputy, scoring a direct hit when the critter chomped down on his finger. The cop caught up with Santana, who had climbed through the bathroom window of a nearby building to hide. He was charged with disorderly conduct, assaulting a police officer and theft – since the parrot had been stolen.

Filed Under :
Location : ConnecticutFloridaMoscowNew York
People : Luis Santana
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