December 21, 2014
6:39 pm
Listener Club

Stupid News for 12/26/13

      A cop in Florida has found a new way to make troublesome drivers cry - by sticking them with raw onions instead of citations during traffic stops. Major Lou Caputo, who works in the Florida Keys, raises a stink with motorists he catches speeding through school zones - usually giving them the choice between the onion or a standard ticket. Caputo says that nine times out of 10, the drivers decide to take the veggie option - without realizing that he's doctored the onions by poking holes in them and letting them sit around for a few weeks to age properly. He says, "They take it back with them. It stinks up the car a little bit. Sometimes I think they wish they had the citation!"

     A Delaware woman applying for a job at a restaurant was arrested for stealing cash from the employee tip jar during the interview process. Melissa Brittingham filled out an application at a Five Guys location and hit the road with hopes of landing a gig – as well as 15 bucks in change and small bills. The waitresses on duty noticed the missing cash and notified the manager, who reviewed security tapes and saw Brittingham swiping the dough. The manager aired her beef with Brittingham to cops, who arrested her on charges of retail theft. She'll have to serve one year of probation and pay a $500 fine.

     A Connecticut man is "pining" for his freedom after being arrested for climbing the Christmas tree in his town's square and ranting bizarrely until he was removed by cops. The appropriately-named Noel Delgado got three-quarters of the way up the tree in the middle of New Haven before getting stuck because the banner he was carrying got tangled in the branches. Authorities cut off power to the 30,000 LED lights adorning the tree until Delgado could be removed from his perch. A police spokesman said Delgado, who was charged with disorderly conduct, "was yelling kind of indecipherably about causes, but none of it really connected."

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