November 22, 2014
11:59 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 12/9/13

        A Swedish prison inmate got drilled with an extension of his sentence after he broke out of jail to go to the dentist - even though he came back as soon as his appointment was over. The man was suffering recurring tooth pain, which he claimed was ignored by officials. He says that he waited four days for treatment, and when he couldn't take it any longer, he made a run for it, even though he had just two days left on his one-month sentence. After getting an infected tooth pulled, he went to police, who took him back to the prison, where he got one day tagged on to his sentence. He said, "I just couldn't stand it. Now, I just have to pay the dental bill."

     A thug in North Carolina was hoping to get some cold cash when he pulled a gun on a convenience store clerk - but ended up having to settle for a cold brewski when the register wouldn't open. Jah Setzer strolled into the Gastonia express and whipped out a handgun and demanded that employee Charlie Welch hand over all the greenbacks in the till. When Welch didn't act fast enough, Setzer began firing into the air, then decided to try to open the register himself - failing miserably in the process. The heist wasn't a total loss for Setzer: He managed to snare a $3 beer before bolting the scene, directly into the clutches of waiting police.

      A Florida man tried to pull off a bank robbery, only to get caught because he couldn't elude cops with his getaway vehicle - a city bus! Timothy Paul Jones went to a teller's window at a Wells Fargo branch and passed a note demanding cash, which he grabbed before making his way to a gas station right across the street, where he changed his shirt in an effort to disguise himself. The trick might have worked if he didn't have to wait for the number 124 bus - which he eventually boarded. Deputies didn't have too much trouble finding him on the vehicle and arrested him carrying the cash and the clothing he was wearing during the holdup.

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