October 1, 2014
4:34 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 10/11/13

       A Michigan optometrist really gave an eyeful to a female patient after he fit her for new contact lenses and then asked her to come back to his private office, where he was allegedly sitting back and pleasuring himself. The woman didn't just get mad at Dr. Robert Emmett Deck III, she got even – by recording the whole thing on her phone and turning it over to cops. A spokesman for the Orion Township Police Department said, "When you go to visit a professional office such as a doctor, the last thing you literally expect to see is this." Dr. Deck has been charged with indecent exposure.

     A Florida man ended up getting a reward he didn't expect when he turned in his pot dealer - only to find himself cuffed for possession of weed. Marcus Gollman called 911 to report that a woman had made a threat on his life, and when cops who responded asked why she wanted to harm him, he said it was because he'd bought marijuana from her daughter - who he intended to snitch on. Gollman offered to prove his point, asking the deputy to follow him to his home, where he'd present the evidence. When they arrived, Gollman handed the bag to the deputy and said, "Here is the dope I bought, sir" – which earned him a thank you in the form of a trip to jail.

     A British woman claims to have found the fountain of youth, and says it flows directly from her own bladder, producing the pint of urine that she drinks every single day. Sylvia Chandler says she discovered the gold standard for staying healthy more than 20 years ago, and ever since, she's maintained that a day without pee-drinking is like a day without sunshine. She diluted her first glass with cranberry juice, but now she downs it neat three times a day. The 63-year-old says, "Drinking my own urine has kept me healthy and energized. And it helps me stay young - men are often surprised when I tell them my age. I have a glass of urine in the morning and another couple during the day. It tastes delicious - it's a bit like water, but sweeter."

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Topics : Human Interest
Location : FloridaMichigan
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