August 28, 2014
5:10 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 10/16/13


       Cops who were questioning a Florida man about whether or not he was transporting marijuana knew he was a pot-head just by looking at his face - where several large chunks of pot were wedged in his beard. Johnny Lee Fisher was driving recklessly on a road in Orange County, and refused to stop for troopers - until they cut him off and forced his SUV off the road. The officers noticed a strong smell of alcohol as soon as he rolled down his driver's side window, and one noticed that he had nuggets of weed studded throughout his facial hair. Fisher tried to deny having anything to do with smuggling weed, but a search of his vehicle turned up enough to charge him with a felony.

      A London man proved he wasn't very well-"bread" when he called emergency responders to rescue him - because he'd gotten his johnson stuck in a toaster! The elderly gentleman didn't reveal what prompted him to put his unit into the unit, just that he found himself unable to free himself from the device. Fire department spokesman Dave Brown said, "Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense ..."

      An Oklahoma crook is down in the dumps after being arrested for taking a dump - and failing to flush before fleeing the home he'd just burglarized. Charles Marqull Williams broke into a house in Oklahoma City and ransacked the place, but decided he needed to make a pit stop before hitting the road. He popped into the bathroom to do his business, but didn't flush. Cops who arrived at the scene found the floater, as well as a piece of used toilet paper that he'd tossed on the floor, and matched the DNA to the state database of repeat offenders.

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