October 20, 2014
5:02 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 10/22/13


      Yale University students are dealing with a trespasser who's been tampering with loads of laundry by adding loads of his own - in the form of poop that's been tossed into several dryers full of just-washed clothing. The culprit, dubbed "the poopetrator" by baffled security personnel, has dropped deuces in four different dryers at one particular facility over the past month, forcing the machines out of service and prompting victims to dump their dump-stained duds. The suspect took things a bit further in his most recent poopy frolic - hanging up a clothesline with soiled clothes in a courtyard.

      A Florida man is behind bars after getting "Goofy" on a trip to Disney World and making it the unhappiest place on earth - by attacking several costumed cast members with a piece of PVC pipe. Austin De Van Hill, who was described as "extremely intoxicated," was visiting the resort for its annual Food and Wine Festival, where he clearly placed his emphasis on the latter aspect. He began screaming unintelligible phrases at the top of his lungs before lunging at one of the cast members, then punching a second who tried to keep him from stealing one of the golf carts used in the park's events. De Van Hill, a Naval Academy graduate and football player, was taken to a nearby hospital, before being transported to jail, where he was charged with assault.

     A Washington state man started a brawl at a fast food joint because a clerk refused to give him a third free packet of ranch dressing with his meal. The man walked into a Jack in the Box restaurant and ordered a chicken dinner - which, according to the menu, includes two free packets of ranch. Being asked to pay a quarter for a third packet prompted the disgruntled customer to get a little saucy and start flinging expletives at the cashier. When a 68-year-old man tried to cool things off, the ranter shoved him to the ground and fled, riding off on a purple bicycle, while muttering something about having a knife.

 
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Location : Florida
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