September 30, 2014
9:34 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 10/24/13

      Cops flushed out a Florida man after he spent weeks sneaking into a hotel parking lot to drop off his car and a daily pile of his own poop. Elee Medina was arrested late last month after a deputy spotted him "fidgeting" with his pants behind the Seminole Country Inn. The officer says he noticed what appeared to be human excrement outside Medina's car - as well as a suspicious stain at the bottom of his shirt. Medina initially tried to wipe away the cop's concerns by denying any knowledge of the waste, but eventually admitted that he poop-etrated the nasty act because there was nowhere else to relieve himself on a long drive into work. He was charged with criminal mischief.

      A Florida man was busted for pleasuring himself on an Amtrak trip through the Sunshine State. Daniel Michael disturbed the passenger sitting next to him by unzipping his pants to see if his little engine could, starting the act while seated, then getting up to use the bathroom while fully exposed. The offended traveler says that Michael passed by a small child while riding his rail up the aisle. Michael denied doing anything illegal and insisted he was merely scratching his stomach, but admitted he might have "accidentally" made a dishonorable discharge in the men's room.

      A British granny got branded a "Rascal" by a cop who pulled her over on suspicion of drunk driving -- while she was behind the wheel of her mobility scooter. The officer spotted Tina Morris slumped over the wheel of the scooter in the middle of the afternoon and immediately caught a whiff of alcohol when he approached. Morris refused to take a breathalyzer test and insisted she'd only pulled over to rest for a few minutes because of back problems – and the need for a smoke. She said, "I wasn’t drunk. I had only had two or three double vodkas with my lunch. I was having a cigarette because my back was hurting."

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