August 1, 2014
12:06 pm
Listener Club

Stupid News for 10/28/13


     A Swedish woman is on the hook for a bizarre crime in which she allegedly slapped a sleeping man with a fish before robbing him. The man phoned cops to report that he was peacefully napping in his home when something fishy happened - namely, he was smacked in the face by a gal wielding a mackerel. While he was still figuring out what had happened, she swiped $300 from him, then helped herself to some chow from his kitchen. A police spokesman says the two knew each other and "live together sometimes." We're awaiting the outcome with baited breath.

     Things were Breaking Bad for a couple of New York City cops who thought they'd made a sweet crystal meth bust - only to find that the "drugs" in question were just Jolly Rancher candies. Love Olatunjiojo was nabbed by officers shortly after he walked out of a candy store near the famed Coney Island amusement area, then searched and cuffed after they uncovered his stash of sugary treats. He ended up spending two days behind bars while awaiting lab results on the red and blue crystalline rocks of solid material” that were eventually identified as Jolly Ranchers - just like the wrappers said,
Olatunjiojo, is cooking up a lawsuit for false arrest, illegal search and seizure and false imprisonment.

      A Florida man who was out sowing some wild oats ended up behind bars when he decided to fight for his right to party - by punching a police horse. Korey Jerelds was out with his pals when cops got a call about disorderly behavior outside a parking garage and came out to disperse the crowd - something that Jeralds didn't take kindly to. He walked up to Mister George and began flinging four-letter words at the four-legged patrol horse, then "assumed a fighting stance" before hitting the critter with a couple of hay-makers. Jerelds couldn't budge Mister George and ended up getting cuffed and taken into custody on charges of assaulting a police animal.

 
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