October 25, 2014
9:31 pm
Listener Club

Stupid News for 11/27/13

    A Florida crook will be getting a lump of coal in his stocking after he was busted for trying to break into a house Santa-style - then getting stuck while sliding down the chimney. Richard Tyler Brandon and a buddy ran out of cash while on a drinking binge and decided to burglarize a nearby house that looked to be unoccupied. But when Brandon tried to ease himself down through the chimney, he got wedged inside and ended up completely immobilized - at which point his accomplice decided to call 911 for help. Cops arrived at the scene shortly after getting the call from Derke Grenfell and freed Brandon - before taking that freedom away by cuffing him and hauling him off to jail on two counts of burglary.

     A Georgia woman who was busted making whoopee with her boyfriend in the parking lot of a Waffle House nearly started a beef with arresting officers - by trying to slip a cheeseburger onto her foot while getting dressed. Rachel Gossett and Frank Lucas were caught in the act in the wee hours of the morning by cops called to investigate a "disturbance." The deputies arrived to find them in the back of a pickup truck, naked and wasted, and ordered them to put their clothes on and head to a patrol car. Gossett attempted to comply, but when it came time to get her shoes, she managed to put on one sandal, but tried to strap the burger onto her other foot - without much success. Not surprisingly, a Breathalyzer test revealed her to be three times over the legal limit.

      A clerk at a Florida convenience store couldn't see his way clear to fill a customer's order - because the guy came up to the cash register and tried to pay for his purchase with an invisible credit card. Matthew White walked around the store collecting items, including a box of cookies, which he started to eat as he approached the counter. When the cashier asked him how he planned to pay, he reached into his pocket and mimed taking out a credit card, which he then slid across the counter and waited. After being informed he needed to use an actual card or cash, White walked out and wandered around the parking lot, walking into the glass as if he couldn't find the door - before finally going back inside and grabbing some hair ties to adorn his locks. Cops showed up at this point and took him into custody for disorderly conduct and shoplifting.

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Location : FloridaGeorgia
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