November 22, 2014
5:47 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 12/10/13

        A Kenyan man got some bad news when he was sentenced to ten years in prison for getting busy with a goat - after a trial in which the animal testified against him. A witness grew suspicious when he saw clothing hanging from a tree and followed the trail to a clearing where he saw Kitsao Gona putting the moves on the poor animal. He notified the goat's owner, who grabbed Gona and took him to police, who charged him with indecency and remanded him for trial. The town's veterinarian testified there was evidence of injury to the goat, who appeared in court as a witness for the prosecution – convincing the judge to hand down the stiff sentence.

      A South Carolina man didn't use his noodle and ended up in handcuffs after assaulting his dad in an argument over the proper way to use boxed macaroni and cheese. Alex Rossi allegedly attacked his dad after the older man blew up at him for opening the packaged meals and using the cheese powder while leaving the dry pasta behind. The sheriff's office report said Brian Rossi told his son to stop the cheesy behavior, which led to an argument that soon turned physical. According to cops, Alex wrestled Brian to the ground and pummeled him, giving him a black eye and a facial laceration. He was jailed on charges of misdemeanor assault and battery.

      An Italian man got a litle flaky in his pursuit of free breakfast pastry - by falsely claiming to be a mafia boss in order to get his hands on some no-cost croissants. Ubaldo Citarella allegedly kept pestering the manager of his local coffee bar for freebies, boasting that he had the sort of underworld connections that could cause trouble if he didn't get his cut of the dough ... as soon as it came out of the oven. The man went along with Citarella's wishes for a while, but got freaked out when the phony thug left a bottle of gasoline on the doorstep as a "warning" when he was asked to pay. The cafe owner then called cops, who made Citarella an offer he couldn't refuse - a trip to jail over the threats.
Filed Under :
Topics : Law_Crime
Location : South Carolina
People : Alex RossiBrian Rossi
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