October 24, 2014
9:48 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 4/1/14

    A Washington man allegedly threatened to remove a portion of his neighbor’s manhood for stealing his underwear. The alleged victim was outside his home when Daniel Urton asked if he had his cars keys. The neighbor told Urton he didn't know what he was talking about and the man began walking towards him with an ax, saying, "I am going to cut your nuts off. I'm going to kill you."  When deputies arrived after the victim called 911, they found Urton in the street with his sister. After Urton was arrested, he reportedly told police that the victim had his car keys, was stealing his underwear and was hiding secret cameras inside his home. Urton was charged with harassment. His sister told police he was not a mean person if he took his lithium.

        A Michigan man was arrested after he drove to a police station and asked to use the restroom while he was intoxicated. When the man went to the Pittsfield Township Department of Public Safety building, a firefighter noticed that he might be drunk. After determining the man had driven to the building and was parked in the parking lot, police officers were called in to perform sobriety tests. The man failed the tests and was given a breathalyzer which determined his blood alcohol content was above Michigan’s .08 legal limit. He was taken to jail to sober up and the Prosecutor’s Office will likely charge him with operating while intoxicated.

      A Romanian man went to the hospital complaining of pain in his esophagus after he swallowed a fork on a drunken bet. Radu Kalincesku didn't tell doctors why he was experiencing the pain but when doctors did an X-ray, they found the utensil lodged in his esophagus. Kalincesku explained that he was drunk when he bet his friends that he could swallow a fork without any consequences. The doctors decided not to operate and instead sent the man home with hopes that the fork would be expelled from his body through natural processes. Doctors say they will operate if the fork becomes lodged in the man's digestive tract.
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Location : Michigan
People : Daniel Urton
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