August 20, 2014
5:03 pm
Listener Club

Stupid News for 5/7/14

    A West Virginia man had a rude awakening after allegedly using heroin and passing out in a bank bathroom. Christopher Anderson woke up in the bathroom of the C&O Credit Union and realized he was locked inside. He reportedly went into the bank earlier in the day when the business was open and passed out after using heroin in the bathroom on the second floor. When Anderson woke up in the bank, he called the police to come let him out. He was arrested for misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance and an outstanding warrant.

     A warrant charging a Georgia man with armed robbery has been issued after a 50-year-old suspect allegedly used a pitchfork to rob a Waffle House. Jeffery Wooten allegedly used the farm tool to herd employees and customers into the back room of the Waffle House so he could grab the cash register. When he realized he couldn’t get the cash register open, he took the whole cash register and exited the store with his pitchfork. While he was carrying the register, Wooten dropped the pitchfork and a woman picked up the tool and began hitting him with it. The pitchfork was also used to smash a window on Wooten’s truck while he made his escape.

     A Massachusetts man who was drinking during an afternoon pub crawl in Boston was allegedly found surfing on top of a commuter train while wearing a sombrero and poncho that night. The train's engineer stopped the train after being told someone was on top of the train while it was traveling 40 mph. The engineer saw the man on top of a ladder, like a child clinging over a shopping cart. The engineer said the man climbed down on his own power and police removed him. The 28-year-old man delayed the Worcester-bound train by 24 minutes. It is expected that he will be charged with trespassing.

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