April 19, 2015
7:14 am
Listener Club

Stupid News for 5/16/14

     A New Hampshire hunter may not be inviting his cousin to Thanksgiving this year after he was mistaken for a wild turkey during a hunting accident in the woods. Glenn Ranfos now has five BBs lodged in his body, including one in his spleen, after his hunting partner of 40 years, Kenneth Ranfos, shot him from 30 yards away. He had just killed a turkey of his own when his cousin shot him. Ranfos said, "I instantly started bleeding from the forehead. And I could feel penetration on my side and I stood up and said to Kenny 'you shot me' and he was in disbelief. He really thought he shot a turkey." Though his cousin could be losing his hunting license and may face criminal charges, Ranfos says, "I feel lucky that Kenny wasn't a great shot. He made an honest mistake."

     Police have identified an individual who they believe is the infamous Michigan "mystery pooper" but they have not released a name to the public. Ypsilanti Police made contact with a suspect believed to be the fecal felon and Police Chief Tony DiGiusti says there haven't been any more puzzling poops since. The individual was suspected of going No. 2 on the same slide in Prospect Park between November and April on a regular basis. Friends of Prospect Park head Pete Murdock said the individual resides in a nearby halfway house. "I think if the person is put out of commission in terms of what they were doing, they should be safe. I haven't heard of any incidents since all the to-do." Council Member Brian Robb said, "We hope there aren't any copy cat crimes. This whole saga has generated a lot interest in Prospect Park from around the country. It's great that the police were able to put a stop to this just as the weather warmed up."

      A diner at a restaurant in China, who was surprised by her chewy calamari was probably even more surprised by what happened next. Customer Mai Liang took a closer look at her seafood dish after noticing that it tasted rubbery and discovered a contraceptive. She said, "Imagine my horror when I turned it over with my fork and it turned out to be a contraceptive. It was disgusting. My first horrific thought was: Is it used?" After she alerted staff about the condom in her cuisine, owner Yi Ze Teng came over. then accused Liang of planting the prophylactic to get a free meal and swallowed the the rubber. Ze Teng said, "They said if I ate the condom, they would leave the matter, so I swallowed it." Liang may still sue the restaurant.

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Location : MichiganNew Hampshire
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