May 29, 2015
11:01 pm
Listener Club

Stupid News for 6/17/14

    Washington firefighters were called in to help rescue an intoxicated man who got himself stuck in a tree in his own yard. Travis Marsh was climbing the tree, but fell and got stuck in a lower branch. The 50-year-old man tried to free himself, but his efforts were unsuccessful. A neighbor eventually heard Marsh struggling and called 911. When emergency crews arrived, they found Marsh hanging about 15 feet above the ground. According to the police report, "Marsh appeared highly intoxicated" and was turning blue due to a lack of oxygen. Marsh stayed overnight in a hospital for treatment and was released the following day.

      A Chinese man who got his penis stuck in an air-conditioning pipe waited two days before seeking medical attention because he was embarrassed. Lian Tien told doctors that he slipped and got himself stuck in the pipe while painting in the nude. The 61-year-old "did not think people would believe him" and only went to the hospital after he experienced swelling and developed a fever. He said, "I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it got stuck. I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down. I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off. But it didn't. It began to get red and inflamed. I was worried that I would get a terrible infection." Doctors were unable to treat Tien so they called in the fire brigade. It took firefighters four hours remove the pipe from around Tien's genitals.

     A Florida father was arrested after he allegedly attempted to sell marijuana to uniformed police officers. Terandell Coleman allegedly approached officers with his 2-month-old toddler in tow and asked if they wanted to buy "bud" from him for $25. The officers were wearing their uniforms at the time but were in an unmarked car. After the cops agreed to purchase the pot, the 28-year-old "parked the stroller" next to a vehicle about 15 to 20 feet away and leaned into the officers' car to complete the sale. In addition to the misdemeanor cannabis charge, Coleman was charged with felony child neglect for allegedly conducting a narcotics transaction "while acting as a caregiver." The child was given to his mother and Coleman was taken to Jail.

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