Any parent worth their weight wants to be there for their kids, especially in times of crisis. But that’s easier said than done. Maybe your daughter doesn’t want the third degree, or your son is embarrassed with the situation. As much as you may want to help, that parent/child relationship can end up being a barrier. In such cases, you might want to consider the X-Plan.
Father, youth minister, and all around awesome guy Bert Fulks with his family.
Bert Fulks is a man who wears many hats. On top of being a father he also is the founder and co-director of Empty Stone Ministry, a non-profit that specializes in camps, retreats, and small group events. As such, he sees some troubled youths in his time; some that would desperately WANT to ask for help, but don’t know HOW. So he developed the X-Plan, an extremely easy code your kid can use to get out of a tricky situations caused by anything from peer pressure to legit safety concerns and everything in between.
Fulks explains on his blog:
“If anything about the situation makes [my son, Danny] uncomfortable, all he has to do is text the letter “X” to any of us (his mother, me, his older brother or sister). The one who receives the text has a very basic script to follow:
The family member receiving the X text response with a call ASAP.
“Hello?”
“Danny, something’s come up and I have to come get you right now.”
“What happened?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there. Be ready to leave in five minutes. I’m on my way.”
“Within a few minutes, they call Danny’s phone. At that point, Danny tells his friends that something’s happened at home, someone is coming to get him, and he has to leave.”
And just like that, you could help your child out of any situation! Now there is a catch to this: The X-plan comes with the agreement that you will pass no judgments and ask no questions. Fulks goes on to write:
“Once he’s been extracted from the trenches, Danny knows that he can tell us as much or as little as he wants… but it’s completely up to him. […] This can be a hard thing for some parents (admit it, some of us are complete control-freaks); but I promise it might not only save them, but it will go a long way in building trust between you and your kid.”
So if you can stick to that simple rule, the X-Plan could be a pivotal parenting tool that would not only help keep your teen safe; it could help build some precious trust.
To read his original blog post and get other nuggets of wisdom, you can find Bert Fulks blog here.
