This is what they meant by “Winter is Coming”
You could throw a stone and still hit Halloween decorations in the Blue Water Area, but that hasn’t stopped the obsession with Christmas for a lot of people. To say some businesses cash in on this is stating the obvious; you’re likely to walk down a store isle with spooky discount candy right next to twinkling lights and trees! But possibly the worst culprit is the Hallmark Channel. Along with Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, the channels are releasing 33 original Christmas movies! To watch them all, it would take you nearly an entire weekend without sleep!
I’ve taken it upon myself to write up a couple of sentences describing each so you can decide which movies you watch to watch this holiday season! EW did this as well, in case you want arguably better descriptions with slightly less sarcasm.
Okay, here we go!
Evergreen Inn (Hallmark Channel)
A bunch of people are at the Evergreen Inn and Ski Lodge because they can’t make it home for the holidays or love the place more than their own home, I guess. Starring Hallmark’s go-to Alison Sweeney who inherited the place and will probably meet all the heartwarming/breaking guests and learn a lesson.
Kiss for the New Year (Hallmark Channel)
Jennifer Love-Hewitt directed this one about a photographer who has never been kissed on New Year’s Eve that ends up working New York New Year’s Eve party. Three guesses what happens.
Never Too Late for Christmas (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
A businesswoman who wants a promotion has to go to a remote town for whatever reason to get said promotion and meets a no doubt handsome widower that reignites her Christmas spirit.
Enchanted Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
Hallmark thought Salsa Dancing and Christmas would go good together, so they did this. Starring the sister from Spy Kids and one of the guys from Big Time Rush (who are married in real life, so that’s adorable).
Snow Globe Wishes (Hallmark Channel)
A town veterinarian wishes on a snow globe for romance. Spoiler alert: it probably comes true.
When Calls the Heart Christmas! (Hallmark Channel)
Not to be confused with When Calls The Heart Christmas, Hallmark is yelling it at you this time because of an exclamation point. The cast from the series returns for the 2017 Holiday installment which includes, among other thing, an enchanted Wishing Tree.
Secret Santa (Hallmark Channel)
Melanie gets her crush for Secret Santa and nails it so much that he starts falling for his mysterious gift giver, but someone else is taking the credit! It could be 5 minutes long if she just took her crush to whoever made the gift assignments, but where’s the fun in that?
Magical Christmas Ornaments (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
Honestly, I barely read the description for this one cuz it a little long. Though I did get to the part about the sexy nurse in it, but plot twist: it’s a MALE nurse!
A Gift to Remember (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
A bookworm puts a dude in a coma and falls in love with the idea of him as she goes through his stuff while taking car of his dog.
The Christmas Cottage (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
A jaded maid of honor gets snowed into a cabin she’s preparing for her BFF soon-to-be-bride along with her BFF’s brother. Also, the cabin is magic?
The Christmas Train (Hallmark Channel)
“David Baldacci’s No. 1 New York Times bestseller comes to Hallmark Hall of Fame: A journalist embarks on a cross-country train ride at Christmas having no idea this journey will take him into the rugged terrain of his own heart as he rediscovers people’s goodness, holiday magic, and a love he thought he’d lost.” Did anyone else just get goosebumps?
Christmas Castle (Hallmark Channel)
Okay, I’m actually sort of interested in this one! A high school teacher Lucy inherits a castle in the Scottish Highlands at Christmas, but before her and her husband can move in they have to come up with a plan to convince moody, artistic novelist – a squatter in the castle – to hit the bricks.
Engaging Father Christmas (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
A perfect engagement goes awry, but I just bet I’ll all be okay.
Unbridled Love (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
This movie has everything you could ever want! A Hollywood superstar, a romantic moonlit kiss, and an actual evil stepmother.
When God Winks at You (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
True holiday stories of everyday and famous people to warm your heart. Actually sounds kind of nice.
Welcome Home Warrior (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
Military widow rents an apartment to a handsome Army Captain recovering from an injury in battle. In spite of his situation, the dude loves Christmas and will probably get her to do the same.
A Song for Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
A pop star (Becca Tobin from Glee) ditches her controlling manager and ends up stranded on a struggling dairy farm for the holidays. The only member of the family to recognize her is the oldest son who intends on making bank by selling her pictures to the paparazzi, except he didn’t bank on their mutual attraction!
Karen Kingsbury’s Maggie’s Miracle (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
A high-powered attorney in New York is unexpectedly reconnected with a guy she fell hard for back in the day by her son. This is apparently a miracle.
Angel Falls (Hallmark Channel)
A fallen angel looks to redeem herself by helping out the town of Angel Falls, and the pun alone is worth giving this a watch.
Christmas Shuttle (Hallmark Channel)
A little boy flies cross country to be with his divorced dad for the holidays. While there, he tries to hook up his dad with a flight attendant because he’s the best 8-year-old wingman ever.
Good Sam (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
An L.A. news reporter tracks down an anonymous good Samaritan, dubbed Good Sam, who has left $100,000 in cash on the front porches of 10 people. But suspecting him to be a fraud, she goes on to find the true identity of Good Sam, which becomes the biggest surprise story of her career, upending her personal and professional life.
A Bramble House Christmas (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
Finn Conrad becomes suspicious as to why his father left a nurse $50,000 he knew her for less than two months before he died. Turns out she’s the single mother who dreamed of running the Bramble House B&B with a sick boy who needed an operation. Her super attractiveness most likely had nothing to do with it.
Christmas for Joy (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
The main character’s name is Joy. Says so right in the title.
The Sweetest Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
A struggling pastry in the finals of the American Gingerbread Competition must use her old boyfriend from culinary school’s family’s pizzeria oven for the competition. I didn’t read the rest of the description because I was too distracted by the thought of Ginger Bread Pizza.
Christmas in the Air (Hallmark Channel)
A disheveled toy inventor gets help from a professional organizer presenting his new Christmas toy line to a superstore. Classic odd couple pairing with a dash of love and Christmas.
Home for Christmas Day (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
Meddling mom tries to steer her daughter away from a long distance relationship with a deployed soldier. I’m sure she’s not as unpatriotic as that sounds.
Christmas Festival of Ice (Hallmark Channel)
Saving a beloved ice-sculpting contest reminds a a lawyer about the true meaning of the holidays. Pretend a made a “melting her frozen heart” reference here.
Christmas Sister Swap (Hallmark Channel)
Estranged twin sisters get together for an obligatory pre-Christmas lunch and decide to swap lives until Christmas Day. There’s not one, but TWO Candace Cameron Bures in this movie, so I’m in!
Miss Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
A search for the perfect Christmas fir for the Washington, D.C. Holiday Tree Lighting ceremony sends a lady to a quaint New England town, where she meets the owner the land from which it grows. While trying to convince him to chop it down, she accidentally convinces herself to fall for him. Cue the two turtle doves line in “12 Days of Christmas”
Marry Me at Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
Sorry, I didn’t read this description because WHO GET’S MARRIED ON CHRISTMAS??? The thought of it alone makes me mad.
Finding Santa (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
Jessica tries to replace the Santa of the past 30 years in her town’s Christmas parade with his Uber driver son by going out and getting him to driver her the 200 miles back home. Road trip shenanigans ensue. This one is for the Millennials!
Father Christmas (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries)
A work-obsessed divorced dad at a major tech company is laid off two weeks before Christmas, making this his first Christmas alone with the kids. While trying to reconnect with his kids (and one of their hot teachers) he realizes he’s avoided relationships (with hot teachers) by burying himself in work.
Coming Home for Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
A house manager plans a party for a family who barely gets along while being attracted to one of the sons and pursued by the other. Throw in a wisecracking matriarch and some Christmas, and you got a movie!
And there you have it! All the holiday programming you could want for your Christmas in 2017 on just two channels! These movies already started playing in the last weekend of October, so if your a Hallmark fan and/or celebrate super early, you have some catching up to do!
